no talking...

I've often wondered and prayed about my talkativeness.The answer to that prayer seems to be coming in the form of a supposed virus.

Diagnosed with viral laryngitis, I've been prescribed nothing but hydration, physical rest, and no talking

No talking. 

That's like going to the gym for me.

No talking seems impossible. Whether it's words or song, I've always found it irresistible to fill dead airspace between two or more with sound. There are few special people I can comfortably sit in silence with. I am well known to out-talk the talkiest of talkers.  

Of course, I've talked about it. I've concluded in the presence of my closest of friends that I fill space because it is terribly uncomfortable for me to sit in someone else's silence. 

During the past few days of no talking for me I have learned so much more about that discomfort. And I continue to learn.  

I didn't realize how much I associate silence with bad things.
Silence speaks loud and clear volumes to me.

True or untrue, silence says to me that a person is of one of these models:

biting their tongue
holding back
punishing with the "silent treatment"

feeling unworthy
having low-self esteem

showing distain
sparing people what they really think because it isn't good

in trouble

passing judgment


I know that there are connotations that go along with chatty people.

having no control
self centered
over indulgent

But I am a little of all those things. It's true. 

And I'd rather be seen that way than to be misrepresented in silence. 

I'm not bitter, insecure, antisocial, untrustworthy, rude, or a liar. I'm not trying to hide something, get away with something, or avoid something. I am right here, available and capable. I'm for you and with you, and although I'm more careful of what I will give you than I might have used to be, I do not withhold myself. I believe you deserve the common courtesy, love, and care that I would extend to anyone created by the same loving Father.

I love to hear your stories, where you came from, what you believe and why. I love to know the details of your heart. It's a treasure to me that I keep locked away in a special place. Sharing leads to loyalty, trust, prayer, and family.

My current required silence is really stretching me. 

In the mall when a person wants to talk to me and I have to keep it short and simple, I feel like I've taken something from them. 
When my kid sits at the dinner table and no one says anything, I feel like we're missing SO much of each other. 
When the phone rings and I have to text the person that I can't talk now, I feel rude.
When a service man comes to the house and I have to stay away so as not to communicate, I feel like I've lost the chance at extending our family.  

I feel like words, sharing, encouraging, responding, engaging with interest are all gifts we offer each other. I feel like I'm wrapping gifts and hiding them in the attic to collect dust, right now.

I know there is more to this. I know that what is happening is good for me. 
I'm praying through it. Keeping my eyes and ears open. I'm looking for truth and light behind all these ideas and notions that are surfacing about my interpretations of silence vs. sharing. 

I know this is an exercise in which for me to learn and grow. 

I don't usually do this, but if you have thoughts or ideas on this, prayerfully consider sharing them with me, please. I know my ideas freshly laid out might look a little stiff, close-minded, or even dark. I'm letting them out to stretch with me and hopefully take aim in a little better direction.

I'd love to hear from you. :)

Blessings in silence. 


  1. Until I read your words, I didn't realize that I had those same feelings about silence. I associate silence with a problem, most of the time. I wonder, "What aren't you saying." So, maybe your silence is meant to teach me something too. Many blessings!

  2. I love quiet. I recently went on a silent retreat. It was amazing. I am able to hear God's voice so much more clearly when I am not talking. I wonder. Does He want to tell you something? Have you been listening? Now that I say that I realize that these past few weeks have had a lot of cognitive noise for me and I"M not listening! Isn't that just like God?

  3. I like to talk so much that I am known for talking to myself. I don't enjoy silence either. One day a nurse I was taking care of a patient on the Psych ward and he was depressed. I was suppose to just sit and be quiet which was really hard for me. I don't do well with silence.
    Blessings to you and I hope you can enjoy the moments in your silence.

  4. besise being extremely behind in visiting an commenting.. I am floored by your forced silence. I too can not allow silence to fill a room... and i hate missing the opportunity to extend "our Family". I long for a virus that teaches me to listen...and to suffer in this way.. but I hope that you are better now, and I am practicing this week....

  5. There are these two women in my life, full of wisdom, Godly, older, and I don't know what they were like in their younger years but I tell you, they are women of few words, with BIG listening ears. And I just want to be near them because when they do speak it seems every time it was right from the mouth of the Father to my ears. There is power in their silence and when they speak it too is POWERFUL! I have much to learn from these women of GOd...

    I do hope you get your voice back, but I'm happy that voice of yours keeps coming thru those fingers right to our eyes to heart!


Your kind words are a blessing to me. Thank you for taking the time to share your heart.