I'm in a different season right now. A time I didn't see coming.
It is full -sometimes busy -sometimes slow for the taking.
I am aching to grow again in an area I've known God's calling in the past. An area I've failed over and over again. Can't I just cut off my tongue? "Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing." (James3:10)
I also find myself consistently asking Him to lead me into putting and leaving Him center at all times. It's not easy coming out of this driver's seat, letting go of all the structure and planning of a perfectionist. Yet, I'm reminded that "whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for (His) sake will find it." (Matt10:39) So, why can't I stop trying to keep up with and hold onto my life?
I've tasted being over myself. I've been sick to death of me many times. But how many more will it take for me to just it give up permanently? Isn't asking over and over the same as signing on the dotted line? What in my heart stops this process, and can We dig it up and throw it out for good?
Although, the quiet inward is the only way for me to go forward for now, I am guilt ridden not to be here in this space, writing and sharing as usual. I think of it every single day. Of you, and your encouraging words and stories...
I know that you are gracious and forgiving.
I pray that all is well in your hearts and homes.
I will be back as soon as the time comes.