even when i don't know why

In the same place again for a second week. A different church. Not the one I've been seeing. Not the way I'd been going. But I feel He wants me here. I've felt Him and seen Him moving in this place for me these past two weeks. 

The infamous speaker is finally speaking. The one who I've heard so much about but never heard speak in the handful of times I've visited. He's speaking alright...  

and he's twisting and ranting a personal, off-putting spin on the character of Peter... and the disciples. I watch him on stage, making Peter into a spotlight monger. A haughty wanna-be. Molding his humility and shock that Jesus' would serve him, so undeserving of such a great honor, into arrogance and idiocy. ??? Painting the picture of an irritated, slandering 12 behind him. ??? 

I look up, higher. "God, this is where You brought me this morning?"

But I see the good, deep hidden in that there will be no idolatry here for me. There'll be no waiting with baited breath for the next Moses, or Gungor, or great leader of my Spiritual life to open his mouth and speak directly into me. 
No, that is safely reserved for the Holy Spirit.

I close my eyes to look inward.

I see the letters on the back of my eyelids.


I remember the place card on the empty table I photographed before the wedding party arrived one week ago yesterday. 

And He soft rubs in Truth and revelation:

RESERVED means retaining or holding. The table is reserved for someone special. Someone of honor will sit here. 

RESERVED means the One who is welcome to sit at this table may freely pull up a chair. There should not be anyone in His place.

Reserved means to refrain, like the quiet man I can't wrap my mind around. How does he remain so "reserved" in his words. 

Reserved is what I should be, for God. 

There should be a "RESERVED" sign at my tongue. Reserved for His use, His intention, His choosing and partaking... 

Proverbs 10:19 
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. 

James 3:6
And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

Ecclesiastes 5:2
Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few.

Proverbs 21:23
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Psalm 141:3
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

The offering in the church is being taken. And where am I again? 
Right where I belong. With my God on a day of rest. 

He's taken me, again. 
And I will follow.


  1. Beautiful, Lora. I want to be reserved fully for Him.

  2. Yes - I need to meditate on these verses myself. thank u.

  3. very touching.
    coming from wiww


Your kind words are a blessing to me. Thank you for taking the time to share your heart.