1.30.2012

Monday Blessings

* waking to this incredible house every morning

* remembering how it happened

* the woods out the windows, glowing with fresh white winter

* my family tucked sleeping, inside

* watching intently and keeping near our only son - our miracle

* a safe white dog 

* the hope of new growth in the fresh start of a transplanting

* my Mom's cookies in the cookie jar, actually made by my Mom

* my son's weekend of playing with Gra - ALL weekend

* a happier teen who is ready to do life

* a healing God who knows just what He is doing and has plans for me to prosper

* our GMG Ephesians study

* free worship

* homeschool flexibility

* Greg's job

* cold stone creamery strawberry cheese cake with reeses peanut butter cups



1.24.2012

blessings

a crooked scentsy warmer

the streaks I never saw until today on the white cabinets made by the magic eraser over a week ago

the permanent sparkly blue nailpolish that exploded in the dryer last weekend, a continuous reminder of my J. Glynn

5 and 6am mornings at the neighbor's taking care of his hobby farm

that chewed up knobby little wooden dog brush I relinquished to my puppy when it was all she would chew

peanut butter fingerprints and puppy nose prints all over the lower half of my windows

a basement theater TORN APART and waiting for a second renovation wind

dreams of old wooden drawers filled with fresh grown grass on the mantel

Tina, on the counter, all chewed up by the cat who surely doesn't go on the counters in the night

a giant pile of mail, school notices, karate information, coupons, netflix, postcard reminders, etc...

the way that all these imperfections are a part of my beautiful life.

1.23.2012

Toward me

When You opened my eyes and ears and mind and heart, You unleashed my spirit to life in You. 

People who knew me said it would be over in two weeks. And not out of cruelty. Just honesty, according to my history. 

Now, over 10 years later, I still stand in complete awe of You. I stand in a kitchen with You, my arms raised, tears streaming, hardly able to squeak out the words of the worship song I promise, knowing You so much more, yet exactly the same as the day I was born. 
You've washed through and through who I am, over and over, year after year. 
The best relationship - the best love of my life is with You. 

And I know, full well, if it weren't for Your Power toward me who believes, there would be none of this. No seeing or hearing, no healing, or growing, no closure or filling, no love like this. There would be no Ezekiel William. There would be no Greg and Lora. There would be no wholeness or walking in this joy and hope if it weren't for You. 

It hasn't been by my own power or ability to stay 10+ years. I know as well as everybody else that I don't know how to stay 10+ years. 
But it has been by the Greatness of Your Power Toward me (Ephesians 1:16-19) that has brought us 10 years, and will hold us through eternity together. 

In Jesus name.

1.21.2012

Sub Zero and Still Warm

On a morning like this, when it's -6 degrees, I do grumble inside a bit about having to go out to take care of my neighbor's animals. 

By now I should know better. I'm always so much more as I'm pulling out of that driveway than I was when I arrived. 

It's impossible not to notice and be warmed by it all:

*the little pieces of my friend's unique personality waiting inside the doors of his home

*the running shoes lined against the wall, the wood carved statue he moved from the front porch to the dinning room after I photographed it in silhouette, the piece of bark that looks just like a crow (I had to double check)...

*all six dogs waiting in the bedroom behind the gate that I know someone I love put up last night when they stopped over to tuck them all in

*five poolies running toward the back door to eat some fresh snow and go potty in the yard

*returning to the kitchen for some snuggle time with Chico until the others are ready to come back in

*the way they all look up at me and wait for their little treats

*saying "have a good morning!" to them, and "BEHAVE!" as I close them in to head out to the barn

*the way the snow glistens in rainbow colored glitter under sunlight - God's incredible artwork 

*how I anticipate that sweet chicken greeting as I slam my shoulder into the door to open it

*that crazy noise they make - I can never help but smile and imitate it every time I'm with them

*the young rooster gives me his own little developing "good morning", and I'm glad he thinks so, too

*so close, they don't worry one bit that I'll step on them... 

*I watch carefully and walk as slow as I can, apologizing when I feel a little toe under my shoe

*they will stick their heads in those feed bowls the second one grain hits the bottom- and then it's feed pouring all over their heads, and more smiles from me... goofs

*I can hear them, those sweet goats mah-ah-ah-ah-ing for me in the next room

*the smell of their sweet treat

*today, a chicken actually jumped in the bin when I opened it - they've been "cooped" for two days in this cold and they're getting a little wild

*petting the once skittish little cream colored female goat- I knew it wouldn't take long for her to get comfortable with humans living with her Daddy, Jeff, who likes to take the chickens in the house now and then

*checking the warm heaters that grumpy Kevin lovingly installed in each room yesterday- because of which the water isn't frozen today- whoo-hooo!

*whoever put that stanley hammer next to the door in the pole barn is my hero

*closing the door I yell, "have a good day sweet babies! I love you!" -wondering how many people would think it's insane 

*I mean it though- I love them

*I love knowing the people I'm collaborating with to take care of this place -they are family to me 

*and Jeff, running in Africa, who brings us all here, together, for him 

*the quick drive back to my house with the sun on my back reminds me just how easy it is, and how close we are, to love

1.18.2012

even when i don't know why

In the same place again for a second week. A different church. Not the one I've been seeing. Not the way I'd been going. But I feel He wants me here. I've felt Him and seen Him moving in this place for me these past two weeks. 

The infamous speaker is finally speaking. The one who I've heard so much about but never heard speak in the handful of times I've visited. He's speaking alright...  

and he's twisting and ranting a personal, off-putting spin on the character of Peter... and the disciples. I watch him on stage, making Peter into a spotlight monger. A haughty wanna-be. Molding his humility and shock that Jesus' would serve him, so undeserving of such a great honor, into arrogance and idiocy. ??? Painting the picture of an irritated, slandering 12 behind him. ??? 

I look up, higher. "God, this is where You brought me this morning?"

But I see the good, deep hidden in that there will be no idolatry here for me. There'll be no waiting with baited breath for the next Moses, or Gungor, or great leader of my Spiritual life to open his mouth and speak directly into me. 
No, that is safely reserved for the Holy Spirit.

I close my eyes to look inward.

I see the letters on the back of my eyelids.

RESERVED

I remember the place card on the empty table I photographed before the wedding party arrived one week ago yesterday. 

And He soft rubs in Truth and revelation:

RESERVED means retaining or holding. The table is reserved for someone special. Someone of honor will sit here. 

RESERVED means the One who is welcome to sit at this table may freely pull up a chair. There should not be anyone in His place.

Reserved means to refrain, like the quiet man I can't wrap my mind around. How does he remain so "reserved" in his words. 

Reserved is what I should be, for God. 

There should be a "RESERVED" sign at my tongue. Reserved for His use, His intention, His choosing and partaking... 

Proverbs 10:19 
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. 

James 3:6
And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

Ecclesiastes 5:2
Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few.

Proverbs 21:23
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Psalm 141:3
Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!

The offering in the church is being taken. And where am I again? 
Right where I belong. With my God on a day of rest. 

He's taken me, again. 
And I will follow.

1.16.2012

Blessings

that the carcass looking meat in the snow by the front step turned out just to be a busted open pie pumpkin :)

the day after a day of rest

the work being finished

the mess cleaned up

the start of a good morning girls study of Ephesians

so many friends joining to read His Word each day

the first week of friday night vows

doing things God asks even when i don't really like it

the difference between chains and freedom

washing dishes and praying for a neighbor

knowing that our families are all eating the same cookies today

being in charge of my own schedule

short haired dogs

two weeks of mornings at the farm

my wee niblet

homeschool

science experiments and exploration

moving me to frame and find The Master's Peace

He is good if He does and good if He doesn't

"say it every single day... you never know when it's your last chance"

1.09.2012

Blessings

Waking to my six year old, limbs all woven into mine, curled and dreaming sweet.  

My big white dog, not so big as we imagined she'd get, soft and quiet, placing her paw on my knee.

A vast sweeping of new hardwoods everywhere I look, waiting for years of family and friends to make them a part of our home.

All of us safe, healthy, and full.

God's promises, prompting, involvement and continued guidance.

New steps to healing a year old heart break.

Breaking out and trusting Him.

Window views to a January outdoor that looks like Autumn, still. 

Rice milk

My dearest friends living right in my neighborhood.

Laundry day with good shows ready for me to iron to.

Homeschooling flexibility and our fresh start beginning today.

Humbling lessons around every corner.

God's patience and grace.

One more week until we begin Good Morning Girls: Ephesians.

The number of friends and family who chose to join in growing together in the Word.

This weekends wedding, alone.

What God reminded me on the spiral stairs down from the choir balcony, and the confirmation in the calendar around the corner.

Motivation and a sound season. 

Knowing I have so far to go, so much to learn, yet being okay with all of it.

Right here and now, AND the road ahead.  

1.06.2012

More

A pretty kitty with soft paws that stay on

That same Kitty's new self-cleaning litter box

Stressless over having a torn up house

A cool basement to hang out in when we need to

A sweet and caring little niblet

Sari spending time with me today after school

A very kind floor installation guy

A Sami's bread order on my front step

Delicious gluten free brownies that taste "real"

Feeling healthy all day long for weeks

A good neighbor who calls

Peace

An unexpected number of Good Morning Girls

Being in love



1.02.2012

Counting what Counts

I haven't found it from taking a pill. Not after a girls' night out or a deep house cleaning. I don't find it in a bottle or at the end of a fork. Not even in escaping far away in a good book or a morning massage. 

The only way I've been able to center myself with what is right and move forward with a better perspective has been to read God's Word and count what counts.  

Anytime that I stop and make an account of what is Good, I am changed for the better immediately. 

At the fresh starting place of this new year I am beginning again, to everyday live in gratitude to God for all that I have, in all things. 

Each week on Monday I'm going to sit down and type one of these lists here:

* aeropostale pajamas all day

* toys from one end of the house to the other

* the voices of my only child, his best friend, and our foreign exchange student all playing together

* fresh scentsy scents

* homeschool freedom and flexibility

* freshly purged and washed cabinets and fridge

* a happier, healthier, grain-free pug

* homemade cookies and ice cream

* laundry day and shows to watch for ironing

* pink cleated soft paws and no kitty surgery

* someone wonderful to dream with

* beautiful white snow covering dormant brown in waiting

* new and exciting beginnings

* God's provisions in ALL seasons of life