I sit down with His gift box in front of me. I can't even see what it is. I'm at a loss for what to write, what to share, how and where to dig out a lesson from my week.
Does God turn away in disappointment that I'm too blind to see His present for me? Does he sit and wait for me to figure it out on my own? Does he storm off with my prize wishing I were only better at this?
No. God is SO incredible to meet me here so faithfully every Monday morning.And if I can't find the gift, if I can't wrap my hands around it and start to peel back the wrapping, He does it for me!? It's amazing to watch Him unfold His beautiful Truth and lessons out of my week, right before my very eyes, flowing from Him through me, off my fingertips onto this computer screen. WOW.
As much as I've wanted a new camera, I deeply hoped
the water hadn't taken away the option of my frugality
(that's the nice way we refer to my being utterly cheap).
But the effects were obvious, and the only solution
seemed to be the purchasing of a new camera of its class.
Mid-week, God had His say, and I cried
through an evening of strong conviction setting in.
Though affordable, this expense was not part of the plan.
On the contrary, we have been in saving and preparing mode.
Buying a replacement camera, in fact, would derailed
a plan that God clearly set into motion in our household.
I called my husband who was out, and explained how I was feeling.
He agreed that we revert back to plan A: trusting and following our Guide.
The camera order was cancelled the next morning.
And the beauty is uncovered in the current consensus
that my doused Nikon D80 has quite possibly never worked so well.
It's not that my camera was or wasn't affected or compromised by the water. It's not whether or not I was blessed with a supernatural camera healing...
See, when I fell in love with photography five years ago, all I knew was the Holy Spirit and a Fuji FinPix. Some How heavenly light was capturing beautiful life through a virgin eye and an uncertain, shaky shutter finger.
I knew nothing about f-stop, aperture, white balance, ISO, metering...
Three and half years ago, I took matters into my own hands and "learned the ropes". Immediately afterward, I felt the union slipping away. I knew I'd put myself in the drivers seat, and as much as I begged, there was no turning back.
My only Peace in the tension was the understanding that it would just be a long ride before I would have another stop in which He would offer to trade seats again.
As disapointed as I was to have lost the connection, I knew He would be Faithful to grow me in this time. I knew that it would be worth every second alone behind the lens before our Chinese fire drill.
God is so good. He is so much fun.
His passion and timing fills me to the brim.
And these such blessings follow every act of obedience.