I do well in the face of adversity.
I am patient, quiet, loving, sacrificial and good willed.
It's not by my own skill that this happens.
It is fruit of obedience from hard reigning myself to His direction.
It's giving me up and letting Him in, over and over until now, where it's become the new habit in place of the old.
But then, when I'm on my own... when I'm doing dishes and my mind gets going away from the spirit of sisters, brothers, or my responsibility to them in His honor... when I wake up from a night of who-knows-what kind of free dreaming and unsound reasoning... when I'm just 51% human and 49% Christ-filled, OH HOW I STUMBLE.
Oh what I deserve.
What I'm owed.
What I need to protect.
What I have earned the right to.
What righteous anger I'm entitled to.
What a thick mess I stir.
I know that if I steer into alignment with God, it all goes away.
I'm not angry at the neighbor dog for making my child panic on his own land. I'm not prideful and protective of my property and our right to be safe.
I don't own land. And I don't put dogs before God's own. And I go to Him. And Trust His power to honor those who call on His name (Psalm 91)
I don't reel in my mind the hurtful things said by a friend. I don't justify my anger or work on ways I might stop people from continuing to run me over with there character flaws.
I'm forgiving and forgetful. I move and choose by Him. I know full well that I am not different from those who hurt me. We are all flawed, together. And there is peace and fruit that ends the turmoil inside and out (Phil 4:7)
When I align myself with God, I don't worry in the night.
I don't question how to defend myself now, in all my silence.
I don't work on sharpening a new set of tools that will more effectively stop people from hurting me or my family.
I'm not watching out for myself - taking care that no bad thing is said or done against me.
I sleep sound.
I know fully Who protects me.
I leave way for His work.
I don't just keep quiet. I feel quiet in my spirit.
If I can abandon my flesh, knowing I'm forgiven and that my spirit is what counts, why shouldn't I learn to abandon the flesh of others, knowing they are forgiven, forgiving them, and staying connected to their spirits in Spirit?
I need work in this area. I need good reminding scripture to fill my head and heart.
Don't we all need good reminding scripture to lead us by the hand and fill the gaps with Light?